


Beach Boy

by 230W49thSt



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Awkwardness, Canon Universe, Drowning, First Date, First Kiss After Almost Dying Cause That's So Klance, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Accidentally Plans A Date, Lance Protection Squad, M/M, Mentions of Death, Minor Character Death (nameless alien), Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Tears Of Neptune Exchange, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-01-24 11:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18570808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/230W49thSt/pseuds/230W49thSt
Summary: After a mission gone horribly wrong and almost costing Lance's life, the Blue Paladin hides his new fear of water from the others. Only Keith, the one who's rescued him and shared an intense after-mission-moment with, notices something is wrong and wants to help him... and accidentally plans a date to help Lance to overcome his fear.





	Beach Boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WithYourRhythm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithYourRhythm/gifts).



> This is my gift for WithYourRhythm as part of the Tears Of Neptune gift exchange in the Lance Protection Squad discord server. The topic was "water" and the prompt was "making up for the bad memories with water" :) I hope you like it! All of your prompts were great, it was a hard decision :D Sorry for getting carried away with the word count...

## BEACH BOY

 

“Lance, you wanna go down to the beach, right?”

“No.”

Six pairs of eyes stare at him in disbelief. Oh, right, he shouldn’t have-- Hastily, he clears his throat and points at Coran’s console in the front area of the Castle’s bridge where the group is assembled.

“Someone should stay here to keep an eye on the system update.”

“I’m sure it will run smoothly for a couple of hours,” Pidge says with a well-assured grin. “Coran and I made sure that--” In this moment, a second hologram pops up above the console and supports Lance’s statement with a blinking red light and loud constant beeps that echo across the bridge. “Oh, crap.”

While Pidge and Coran check the system error under worried eyes from the others, Lance takes a step back and turns away. His heart beats so fast, he’s sure it’s about to break his chest any second and if he doesn’t manage to regulate his breathing, his body will slip into a proper panic attack and he isn't too keen for that to happen, at least not in front of everyone, thank you very much. So he breathes.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

Alone the thought of setting foot on the planet that’s galaxy-famous for its beach and its supposedly magnificent color-changing ocean makes him want to run for cover in his bedroom forever and a day, please someone get his mom.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

The constant talking of his fellow Paladins about their plans during Ocean-Celebration-Week and the water-themed amusements doesn’t help him to deal with the harsh truth he hides.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

A few weeks ago he would have been happy as well, if not even the happiest of them all and giddy with excitement to see an ocean again but that was before the accident.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

His body shivers as he tries to push away the half-buried memories that begin to creep into his consciousness, ready to, oh, _drown him_  again.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

The thing is: Lance is afraid of water. More exactly: the mere idea of him stepping onto a beach and allow the water to curl around his ankles has the potential to induce a proper panic attack. Don’t even ask him about bathtubs.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

And no one knows.

 

_In, hold--_

 

“Are you okay, buddy?” Hunk’s soothing hand finds his shoulder and Lance turns around with a start, a huff of air escaping his mouth. Friendly eyes look at him and Lance hates himself for the lie that will pass his lips.

“Yeah, of course, everything’s smashing!”

“Smashing? You spend too much time with Coran,” Hunk laughs and pats Lance’s back. Of all people, Hunk’s the one he usually confides in. Usually. But not this time. A knot filled with guilt creeps up his throat and he swallows it despite the discomfort. “You sure you’re okay?”

 _Talk to someone,_  the logical part of his brain urges him to do. _You can't hide it forever._ He smiles at Hunk. _I can’t,_ the scared and ashamed part answers.

“I’m good.”

The knot in his stomach unravels and guilt spills, filling his insides with corrosive acid produced in his mind. The longer he avoids dealing with this topic, the heavier it lies on his heart, but he's already bought an annual pass for the vicious circle his own repression has put him into and he doesn't believe in refunds. To change his way to cope with his fear would require something else than some well-meant words from his friend. He would have to open up and admit what a failure he is and he cannot do this if worried eyes stare back at him, no Sir, no. What he needs is some tough love to set him back on the right course. If only his sisters were here...

“Listen up, Paladins!” Lance looks back to the group around Coran and Pidge, grateful for the distraction from Hunk's probing eyes. “Sadly, the system update seems to enter a deadlock every couple of hours and we could possibly bypass the malfunctioned areas to make it run smoothly again but then we’d have to switch the--”

“Coran,” Allura interrupts him with a strained smile on her face. “Please.”

“Basically, someone has to stay here and press a button every time it beeps.”

 

A silence spreads on the bridge. Everyone avoids eye contact with each other. _Classic_. They all have looked forward to having some days off, and resting on a planet whose surface is the definition of summer flair is the non-plus-ultra. Truly, a paradise for intergalactic tourists, and if you strip away the responsibility of defending the universe, the Paladins of Voltron fall in this category. The fact that someone has to get left behind is a crushing thought.

“You can’t fix it?” Allura asks.

“Of course I can fix it,” Pidge huffs indignantly, “but we have to reboot the whole system to do so.”

“We’re not rebooting the system,” the Princess retorts within a second, “that’s too dangerous, even now. This planet system might be safe but I won’t shut down the Castle’s defenses if there’s another way.”

Pidge points at a green spot on the console. “Hence, the button.”

“I guess that’s the best solution.” Allura nods and clasps her hands together. “Well then, any volunteers?” Her warm and encouraging smile doesn’t fool anyone. She doesn’t want to stay up here and miss the opportunity to feel the warm sun on her skin as much as the others.

Well, at least as _most_ of the others...

Shiro scratches his head, his eyes downcast as he steps towards the console.

“Since I’m Voltron’s leader, I think I should stay.”

Wild protest erupts from everybody.

“You need some rest!”

“Cocktails! Ice cream!”

“You don’t have to sacrifice yourself!”

“It’s not a sacrifice,” Shiro replies. Like Allura, he forces himself to a half-hearted smile but the disappointment in his eyes breaks through. “It’s fine, really.”

“I’m staying.” Keith pushes himself away from the wall he’s been leaning on and crosses his arms to emphasize the finality of his decision. “They’re right. You need some rest, Shiro. I don’t care much about the beach anyway. It’s just sand and water.”

 

Throughout the entire exchange, Lance couldn't find it in himself to speak up. The wheels in his head spin fast because, no, _he_ is the one who needs to stay in the Castle, up in the planet’s orbit, out in space, far away from-- He briefly closes his eyes.

Far away from the ocean.

“We draw straws,” Lance hears himself say.

“Are you serious?”

“Are you twelve?”

“I don’t think it’s polite to steal Kaltenecker’s food.”

Lance chuckles to hide his anxiety.

“No, Princess, it means we let chance decide who will get promoted to be Voltron’s official button-pusher. Wait a dobosh.” A few moments later, Lance emerges from the kitchen with something similar to toothpicks in his hands. “Whoever draws the short one will have to stay here,” he explains to the clueless Alteans. He holds out the sticks hiding the ends in his fist. One by one they draw a wooden stick and eye it cautiously. A sigh of relief follows when they realize it’s a long one instead of the short one that declares them the loser of the game. In the end, only one stick is left: the one Lance is holding, the end still hidden in the palm of his hand.

“Guess it’s me then,” Lance shrugs and puts all of his efforts into a convincing grimace that says _I’m disappointed but it’s not the end of the world, don’t worry about me._

“Aw, too bad, buddy. Maybe tomorrow luck’s on your side!” Hunk says.  Lance smiles politely. Yeah, maybe. Hopefully not though. The others fall into a lively chatter about the things they plan to do down on the planet. Swimming and eating seem to be the top entries on everyone’s list. Pidge doesn’t even mention her laptop or Rover. A good moment to get rid of the evidence, Lance thinks. Slowly he reaches around his back to slip the remaining stick into his back pocket. Easy peasy.

Suddenly, he feels the firm grip of a hand on his wrist.

“Show me the stick.” Lance almost jumps out of his skin when Keith appears behind him, his head leaning over his shoulder to catch the guilty look in Lance’s eyes. The close proximity brings back a rush of feelings that are connected to his past accident involving water, a beach and the Paladin next to him but turn in quite a different direction than fear… yeah. It’s complicated and definitely not important right now, Lance tells himself.

“Um. What?” he asks instead.

“Show me the stick, Lance,” Keith repeats.

“Why?” he whines and tries to free himself from Keith’s grip. “I lost fairly.” The pressure on his wrist increases. Surely, Keith wouldn’t hurt him but then again, it’s Keith.

“Fine,” Lance sighs. To buy himself some time, he gives him a gentle push with his shoulder, causing Keith to let go of him. “Personal space, man,” he mumbles. Quickly, he clenches his fist and breaks the evidence with his fingers. His eyes flutter shut when he feels the pain of a splinter pricking his skin and he prays Keith didn’t see it. He sends a quiet thank you to his younger self and his magician phase. Little distractions and tricks with his flexible fingers used to be a great thing to impress his niece and nephew.

“Here.”

He hides the just broken half perfectly between his fingers and opens his palm to reveal the short stick. Keith furrows his brows.

“Your hand is bleeding,” he simply says and turns around to join the other’s conversation.

Lance stares at him, dumbfounded, then at the palm of his hand. Stupid splinter.

 

~~~

 

After he got instructed on how and when to push the button (yes, apparently there was an instruction needed), the Paladins, Coran, and Allura bid him goodbye.

“I won’t blow up the ship, promised,” he grins as he watches them board the pods. Allura shoots him a stern look before she gets into one with Pidge and Coran.

“I’m gonna bring you some goodies, buddy,” Hunk smiles and gets into the other pod with Shiro. But where is--

“Ouch.” A shoulder slams into his. “What the fuck, Keith?” Without stopping, Keith walks past him, heading for the pod, not saying a word. Only before the door of the pod closes behind him, he turns around to Lance. With the slightest movement, he shakes his head in disappointment.

Shit.

Does he know something?

When the pods have left the Castle and are on their way to the planet, Lance dares to exhale. Whatever Keith might know, for now, he’s safe up here in space. He tries his best to pass the time with watching movies, reading or eating until he finally flops down face first on his bed. If it wasn't for his anxiety, he could have been down there. Anger overcomes him and he clenches his fists in the bedsheets. There has to be a way out of this. If he only knew how. He remains in his room in a sullen mood until he hears the docking of the pods in the evening.

As promised, Hunk brings him some snacks from the planet but not even the most delicious chocolate-saltwater-cookie can lighten up his mood. He tries though, to make sure his mask sits perfectly on his face, but after a short while of listening to his friends’ adventures, he excuses himself for having a headache and skips dinner. _Tomorrow is another day,_  Shiro has told him, mistaken Lance’s tension and tired eyes with the sadness caused by the lost opportunity to spend some time at a place he’s supposed to love. Yeah, it’ll be another day and Lance doesn’t want to think about it but the sickness reminds him constantly that he’s not out of the woods yet. 

 

~~

 

Falling asleep that night is tough. When Lance thinks his body has finally given up its fight to stay awake, an image flashes behind his closed eyelids and forces a half-loud noise out of him.

 

_Underwater._

_A tiny crack in his helmet, only an inch away from his face._

_Then suddenly, the crack is gone._

_So is the glass._

_Water, so much water…_

 

He sits up so fast it makes him dizzy.

The intensity of the memory fades away but it keeps Lance gasping for air. It always does. A cruel act of his body and mind trying to make up for something he hadn’t been able to do weeks ago.

 

_To breathe._

 

He wipes away the sweat on his forehead and takes a sip from the water bottle next to his bed. Drinking water, oh the irony. His lungs had already tasted more than enough of that. He feels another panic attack building up inside his body, ready to take a hold of him. The wall behind his bed is cold when he presses his back against it. _Just breathe, Lance,_ _breathe with me,_  a familiar voice in his head tells him. _You’re doing great._

 

_In, hold, out._

 

He closes his eyes.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

All he needs to do is to force his mind to latch onto something soothing, something that calms him and protects him, _anything,_  really, something real, something close, some _one_ \--

A knock on his door helps to distract him, too, even if it comes with a startle that makes him scoot to the edge of the bed.

“Yeah?” he croaks when his feet touch the cold floor.

The door opens a crack. The head with the most recognizable hairstyle appears in the gap and leans inside.

“Can I come in?”

“Um, sure?” Lance replies noncommittally but inside his mind, he’s yelling. Because the person who now enters his room is no one else than Keith. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself, maybe not yet, but Keith is the only person he wants to see in this difficult moment. But also not, because first of all, there’s an unspoken _thing_ between him and Keith, and second, he’s still on the edge of a blown-out panic attack and not exactly in the mood to explain himself. To his surprise, Keith only asks one question when he kneels down in front of him, his hands lightly resting on Lance’s thighs.

“What do you need?”

Lance becomes painfully aware of his short and quick intakes of air. His anxiety blocks out the embarrassment he would usually feel in a situation like this but it’ll probably catch up with him later. A problem for future Lance.

“Don’t touch me. Please," he presses out. It's hard to talk when not enough oxygen reaches his lungs. He doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to drown.

“Got it.”

Keith pulls away his hands. A part of Lance regrets the loss of his fingers but he knows he can’t take it, not right now. The faint blue lamp at the side of his bed is the only source of light in the dimly lit room. Keith’s purple eyes watch him carefully and-- is that worry?

“Breathe with me, Lance, just like we did before. No, look at me, okay? Look at me. We breathe together.”

 

So they breathe together.

 

Keith’s entire attention is directed at Lance in front of him. Lance tries to keep his gaze on Keith to synchronize their breathing. The thoughts in his head have become a mess of shouted words, trapped in a spiral, surrounded by a deep fog of pure fear he can’t get out without help. But Keith's here, and Keith's presence helps.

 

_In, hold, out._

 

After a while, the Red Paladin's expression softens.

“You’re doing great,” he whispers, echoing some words he's already said once before.

Lance smiles weakly. His breathing is almost back to normal and his heart doesn't want to jump out of his chest anymore. Only when Lance has calmed down enough to have back the sovereignty over his own thoughts, the extent of the situation unfolds in front of his eyes.

Keith isn’t supposed to witness his breakdown, no one is!

“What are you doing here?” he asks brusquely. Keith frowns. _Way to go, Lance._ The Blue Paladin grunts and palms his face. “I mean, thank you.” He looks back at Keith and feels his own face relax when the mask he wears falls off entirely. “Thanks, man.”

Keith nods silently.

"Sorry for waking you up," Lance mumbles, “um, I think I owe you an explanation?” His fingers nervously fiddle with the hem of his sleeping shirt. It’s been a while since the two of them have been alone together. Suddenly, he feels awkward. Another kind of anxiety reaches its fingers out to him but this time it has nothing to do with drowning - except maybe in someone else's eyes.

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“Right,” Lance says almost sourly, “you mean except my life?”

Keith let himself fall back on his butt and rests his arms on his knees. His eyes wander over Lance's face.

“We saved each other countless times, we all did.”

“Yeah, but it’s never been that…” Lance’s voice trails off. He closes his eyes as he breathes out all the air in his lungs. _Out, out, out._

“That close,” Keith finishes. “Maybe.” _In, in, in._ They look at each other and even though it’s a bit awkward to stare in each other’s faces for longer than a brief moment, the almost-darkness of the room not only makes the situation bearable but also helps Lance to open up.

“I drowned, Keith.”

“Almost.”

“The alien next to me did. When we both crashed into the ocean, he was right by my side. He even helped me to get away from a swirl that was about to pull me in. But then the water,” he shakes his head, “it was different than on Earth, heavier, and it dragged us down.”

“I know, I was there, too," Keith says quietly. The tone of his voice makes Lance wonder what impact the situation had on him. Keith's reaction on the beach had been - intense, to say the least. But after that, they both went on as usual, as if nothing had happened. Lance takes a deep breath. They need to talk about it, _he_ needs to talk about it, so the words keep spilling out.

“His helmet was worse broken than mine. I saw him drown, Keith. I couldn’t do a damn thing. I wanted to but I had no strength, I was barely keeping myself close enough to the surface for someone to find me. For-- for _you_ to find me.”

“You know it’s not your fault he died, right?”

Lance nods.

“Yeah, I know that. But it was…” A knot in the back of his throat makes the next few words difficult to get out. Tears begin to fill his eyes and he swallows hard. “It was so scary, Keith,” he confesses, his voice only a shaky whisper. Quickly, Lance wipes away a tear he isn’t able to hold back. Damnit. Meanwhile, Keith watches him patiently, his expression hard to read. “And when the crack in my helmet ripped open and the… the water flooded in… I thought that’s it. That’s it, Lance. Here ends your sad story.”

“It didn’t end there.”

“The first seconds of swallowing water were the scariest thing that happened to me in my entire life. And then… I had no other choice than giving up.”

“That's bullshit, Lance. You didn’t give up.”

“But it felt like I did,” Lance insists with some stubbornness in his voice. “I’ve never felt so helpless before. I was completely at the ocean’s mercy. And you know what else I felt?”

Keith waits.

“I felt backstabbed. By the ocean. I-- I grew up by the sea. Do you know how many times I almost drowned when I was a child? Waves knocking me off air mattresses or crashing over my head? I can still feel Luis’ hands gripping me and lifting me up, laughing it off. I did too. All these times and I was never scared, not even once. But I guess it was never quite like… like this. This was real.”

“Lance, you’re alive.”

“Because you saved me.”

“So what?” Keith shrugs. “Doesn’t make it less real. You’re here, right now.”

“I still remember everything. The water pushing inside me-- no. Me _letting_ the water inside, like I was willing to choke. I wasn’t though. They say drowning is a calm death but I don’t--”

“Lance!” Keith interrupts him and leans forward, his fingers gripping into Lance’s thighs, gently shaking his fellow Paladin with every word he says. “You’re not dead. You didn’t die. You didn’t stop fighting one second!”

“The ocean was my friend, now I can’t even take a bath. I’m so angry at myself.”

It gets silent between them for a moment and Lance fears he’s said too much. Gosh, Keith only wanted to help and here he was, dismissing every kind word, keeping him at distance. He cringes at his own behavior, wishing to come up with something to say to release the tension between them.

Keith clears his throat.

“Not even a bubble bath?” he asks quietly and raises one eyebrow.

Lance huffs, then chuckles with some well-needed relief. Keith smiles at him softly. 

“Not even that," he admits but returns the smile.

They sit in silence for another while, Lance on the bed, Keith kneeling in front of him like a concerned parent. The distant humming of the Castle’s energy sources, wires and Altean magic (as Lance likes to believe) is the only background sound in this time of night. Keith’s hands still rest on Lance’s thighs and his gaze is directed at nothing in particular. Blank eyes stare through Lance’s body, his face mainly relaxed with some leftover tension and maybe worry.

Why is he here, Lance tries to figure out. Sure, he's probably heard his strangled shout a few minutes ago but calming Lance in the middle of the night is something he’s never done before. And Lance had many nightmares in the past, albeit of a different nature. Then again, things have changed between them. Lance drowned - almost - and Keith saved him and then-- _Oh boy._ Better not think about it now with the _oh boy_ being so close to him. Nevertheless, Lance can’t help himself but stealing glances at him.

The black bangs of Keith’s hair fall into his face and Lance is mesmerized by his calm appearance. He’s doing nothing more than resting his eyes and breathing and, yeah, _existing in the same space as Lance._  He appears to be lost in his own mind but also only a word away. With looking at Keith, the tension in Lance’s body begins to fall off. He’s safe. He presses out a long breath of air and his shoulders go limp. They sink down and a shudder goes through his body, the aftershock of being tense for too long. His back bents and his head falls forward, his neck too weak to carry the weight any longer. His eyes automatically drift to Keith’s fingers down below. Warm hands on his cold body. Warm fingers gently-- Oh.

The thumbs of Keith’s hand draw gentle circles on Lance’s thighs. He isn’t sure if Keith even notices what he’s doing but the realization and the feeling make him shiver. Another feeling joins somewhere up in his stomach. A fluttering kind of feeling.

Lance opens his mouth in an attempt to say something but his mind goes blank. The selfish wish to indulge in Keith’s touch for a little while longer makes him speechless. The moment doesn’t last long - Keith becomes aware of Lance’s eyes on him.

“Do you feel better?” he asks and withdraws his hands.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“You're, um, you’re welcome.”

Although no second panic attack hit him during the remaining night, Lance didn’t sleep well. As soon as he had assured he was feeling fine, Keith went back to his own room and left Lance with the nagging thought that he was probably nothing more than the remains of a mission gone wrong. Something Keith felt obligated to deal with. It couldn’t possibly be connected to what happened on the beach after Keith had rescued him. Because that would be nuts.

 

~~

 

“Are we gonna draw straws again?”

“Yes,” Allura says and holds out a handful of sticks. “I like it, it's just neat. And since Lance has already done the necessary duty yesterday, I think we can all agree that he gets left out this time.” She flashes him a bright smile and Lance’s stomach drops ten feet.

“No, include me, I don’t have a problem to--”

“Nope, nope, nope,” Hunk insists and puts a finger on Lance’s lips to shut him up. “Listen to the Princess. You deserve your beach and your waves, I know you miss them as much as I miss a muffin tray.”

So this is how a cornered animal feels like, Lance thinks and tries, as usual, to hide the rising panic behind a smug grin.

“Cool.”

He turns around to Keith. He can’t even help himself, his body acts on autopilot, drawn to the only person on this ship who can tell that this is far away from _cool_. When they make eye contact, all Lance sees in Keith's eyes is something strong as a rock and dangerous as a wildfire, ready to burn down the whole Castle if he has to... but also something entirely else. Something calm. And it's directed without any doubt at the Blue Paladin.

“Um, actually I need Lance,” Keith declares without missing a beat and draws everyone's attention to him. “If that’s fine with him.”

“Need Lance?” Pidge repeats incredulously.

“What for?” Shiro asks.

If the possible outcome of the situation is connected to him avoiding being close to a large body of water, then Lance gladly accepts any kind of hidden insult to his capabilities. His lack of self-confidence will have plenty of time to make a big deal about it at a later point.

“A Blade thing,” Keith says, always eloquent in his elucidations. “There’s a station nearby.”

“And what _exactly_ do you need Lance for at a Blade station?” Hunk asks rather angrily about the outlook of his friend not getting a well-needed rest on a beach.

“The station is located in a minefield close to a black hole and someone needs to take out the controls attached to it to deactivate it. I have to maneuver through the asteroid belt it’s hidden in. Lance’s the best sharpshooter of all of us.”

If it hadn’t been for Keith’s last sentence, the group would have laughed about another seemingly over-the-top hide-out the Blade Of Marmora has come up with again and someone would have pointed out that they surely would have noticed a black hole in close proximity. But now everyone’s eyes widen almost comically at Keith’s very unusual acknowledgment of Lance’s abilities in combat. Pidge is the one to burst out into laughter without being able to restrain herself.

“Are you two messing with us?”

Lance should’ve been offended by her reaction but he’s too shocked by the earnestness displayed on Keith’s unfaltering face as he stares down everyone who meets him with confused or amused eyes. Lance included.

“Um, thanks,” Lance mumbles when it's obvious that Keith doesn't show the slightest inclination to answer Pidge's question, “and yeah, I’m coming with you, no problemo.”

“Can’t you do this on your own, Keith?” Shiro asks with a meaningful side glance to Lance. In every other situation, Lance would’ve been happy about Shiro coming to his rescue but in this case, Keith has turned out to be his personal hero.

“No,” he simply says. “I need him.”

Lance’s stomach drops again, this time for a different reason. Since neither Shiro nor Allura knows how to overrule a stubborn Keith Kogane who meets them with piercing eyes and a _Don’t Fuck With Me_ attitude, they turn to Lance for a decision.

“You heard him,” he says, trying to sound more self-assured as he actually feels, “he-- he needs me.” _And I need him,_  he adds in his head. He shuffles his feet and runs his hand through his hair to hide his face. Keith's unexpected display of loyalty towards him, although hidden behind a lie for the others, causes his cheeks to heat up. Everyone stares at the two of them as if they were aliens and well, at least Keith is half a Galra and Lance is an alien to the Alteans, so maybe it’s not a big deal.

“Alright.” A nod later Shiro declares the issue for solved and they move on to choose the new button-pusher.

Lance observes them from twenty feet away, his mind focused on the only important fact: He doesn’t have to step on the planet’s surface, he doesn’t have to get near the ocean, he’s safe for at least another day. Only when Pidge grunts loudly about getting the short end of the stick, he notices another important fact: how close Keith's standing next to him. The elbow of his folded arm brushes against Lance yet he doesn’t say a word. Lance's brain helpfully provides him with a comparison to a bodyguard and he tries not to smile about it. Instead, he glances at Keith from the corner of his eyes.

“A minefield inside an asteroid belt close to a black hole?”

Keith scoffs.

“Is that a problem for you?”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too much?”

“What do you mean?”

Lance rolls his eyes and turns around to him.

“You totally made that up.” He presses his lips together to stop himself from grinning. Keith isn’t particularly good at lying and Lance appreciates the effort, nevertheless, he can’t resist to tease him about it. “I’m impressed you didn’t add some weblums or wormholes to other realities.”

“You rather take a swim in the ocean, beach boy?”

Lance’s heart convulses in his chest. For a moment, his body stops breathing, or maybe it’s just his mind playing a trick on him.

“I’m sorry,” Keith winces. Lance doesn’t know what kind of facial expression Keith sees in front of him but it must be bad if he apologizes within a second.

“It’s okay,” he whispers back and they both try to ignore the audible crack in Lance’s voice. “It’s funny. Objectively.”

“What?”

“You calling me beach boy is funny and a good memory for my mental picture book, yes. Just, maybe not at the moment.”

“What should I call you then?”

“Um, what you usually call me?”

Keith blinks nervously at him.

“The name’s Lance?” he helps out. He waves his hand in front of his body with a slight bow for good measure, his eyes fluttering at the Red Paladin.

“Um. Right. Lance.” Keith scratches the back of his head and huffs a forced laugh. “I know. So, I’m gonna go and prepare the pod for our mission.”

“Yeah, you do that, Kogane.” They look at each other a bit cautiously and then, very slowly, a very shiny penny drops in Lance’s mind. “Wait.” The blank horror appears in Keith’s eyes and the tip of his ears turn red. Lance opens his mouth in disbelief. _This cannot be._

“Do you usually call me beach boy??”

The next thing Lance sees is Keith’s back when he makes a run for the door. Some mumbled words about preparing the pod for the mission follow him but get lost in the distance.

“KEITH! WAIT!”

 

~~

 

Lance should have become wary the moment Keith announced he was on his way to prepare the pod - it was supposed to be a lie, wasn’t it? - but another question is occupying his mind and he decides to follow up on it via a different source than Keith himself. Hunk had a late start into the day because Pidge needed some details on the system update so lucky for Lance, he’s the last one in the kitchen having a quick breakfast while the others are elsewhere.

“Weird question incoming,” Lance asks and sits down next to the Yellow Paladin.

“Shoot.”

“Did Keith ever refer to me by another name than Lance?”

Hunk licks some food go off his spoon and Lance almost regrets the question when he sees the curious expression on his friend’s face. Maybe the idea of opening up to Hunk just a few minutes before the group’s departure isn't the best timing. One mistake and Lance might reveal how heavy-loaded the question is to him.

“You mean a nickname? Like sharpshooter?”

“No. Or yes? I don’t know? Does he though?”

“At least not when I’m around, no. Why?”

“It’s not important, thanks! Have fun on--”

“Nope, Lance, you’re not running away from me. What’s up with you and Keith lately?” He doesn’t want to talk about his accident, he really doesn’t. But he does yearn to share some thoughts about his relationship with Keith with someone else than, well, Keith, and Hunk’s friendly eyes radiate just the right amount of empathy for Lance to start talking - just some bits and pieces to lighten the weight on his heart.

 

“Keith and I, we-- we had a--” Lance shakes his head with a sad smile, “we had another bonding moment. It’s not a big deal though.”

 

_Coughing up water, violently. Purple eyes staring down at him, firm hands pushing him to the side as he coughs and coughs. A hurting throat, burning like fire. The taste of salt and something muddy on his tongue. More coughs, more water. Hands soothingly rubbing his back._

_“You’re okay, Lance, get it all out. You’re okay.”_

 

“Bonding moment, huh?” Hunk grins and nudges Lance into his side. “Did he cradle you in his arms again? And you remember?”

 

_His stomach and lungs are empty but the urge to cough remains. It hurts. He feels the sand under his hands, a beach. It’s rougher than on Earth, leaving red marks on his hands, his gloves almost ripped off completely. His broken helmet lies next to him, the lid gone. Behind it, the ocean comes in sight. Deep green, an unnatural poisonous shade. Waves crash against the beach, strong ones, trying to reach for him and dig their claws into him. He crawls backward. Something’s in his way. Something warm._

 

“Yeah.” Lance nods and stares at his hands that rest on the table. His mind begins to get lost in the memory and his voice becomes a whisper. “Keith would probably be ashamed to admit it but there was some cradling and I do remember.”

 

_Arms wrapped around him. He looks to the side._

_“Easy,” Keith says calmly. “You’re safe.” Keith’s hair is wet and his suit as soaked as Lance’s but at least it’s not ripped. He pulls him closer until Lance’s back is resting firmly against Keith’s chest. Lance struggles to get away, trying to get further back, back, back and away, but after a futile attempt, he collapses in Keith’s arm. Exhaustion takes over. From the corner of his eye, he sees Keith removing the gloves of his own armor with his teeth. A moment later shy fingers touch his own, then Keith gently interlocks them. “You’ll be alright. Just breathe with me, Lance. Just breathe.” Breathe. He feels Keith’s hot breath on his cold ear and the warmth of his fingers on his hands. “In, hold a second, out. In, hold, out.” His throat still hurts but he feels less dizzy. “You’re doing great, Lance.”_

 

“Aww, so you’re like buddies now?”

Lance tsks and rolls his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s Keith,” he says as if it’s a valid explanation for the nature of their relationship. “Also, you’re my best friend.”

“I didn’t mean for you to be BFFs but normal friends at least. You’re not fighting anymore,” Hunk points out, the spoon in his hand a bit too calm in his hand - a sign that he's building up to something.

“So?”

“And I know he was in your room last night. Uh, uh, uh,” he points the spoon at Lance, “save your lies for days when Coran cooks another Altean dish. I saw him with my very own eyes when I walked back from the kitchen with a glass of milk. ”

A part of Lance is glad he doesn’t have to come up with some lame excuse. He’s tired. Tired of pretending he’s okay, of pretending nothing has happened that messed with his mind. Tired of pretending nothing has changed between him and Keith. But now their conversation scratches too close at the accident's impact on his mental health and his urge to run away becomes stronger. He fights against it and freezes instead.

“So?” Lance repeats and shrugs emotionlessly. “I didn’t feel well and he helped me.” The mask on his face is as thin as can be and he wonders how long Hunk would push him before he realizes that Lance is this close to breaking.

“With your nightmares? That’s really nice of him. So I guess you two finally kissed and made up, huh?” Hunk wiggles his eyebrows.

“Sure.” Lance’s reply comes fast and the detached look in his eyes finally alerts his friend.

 

_“Keith,” is the first word he croaks out._

_“I’m here, Lance.” He feels Keith squeezing one of his hands before he lets go. Gentle fingers wipe away some strains of hair that stick to Lance's damp forehead. Keith’s chin rests on his shoulder, careful not to weigh him down._

_“Keith.” Lance rolls his head towards him. Keith weeps. Silently, though Lance feels his chest rocking against his back with every intake of air. They both had to learn to breathe steadily for different reasons. Tears stream down Keith's face and he doesn't even wipe them away so Lance does it for him._

_“You’re crying,” he says, fingers lingering on Keith's skin. “Why?”_

_“Because you’re stupid, Lance McClain.” Keith takes Lance's hand and leads it to his lips. “You’re so stupid,” he repeats and suddenly Lance feels something warm and soft touching his skin. Lance might be exhausted but he will never forget the moment Keith starts kissing the knuckles of his hand. Over and over, little kisses, sloppy kisses, peck after peck. Lance stares._

 

“Lance?” Hunk asks and waves a hand in front of him. “Did something happen during your last mission?”

“I don't wanna talk about it.” Shit, now he got Hunk worried. This wasn’t his intention, not at all. All he had in mind was to get some of his... feelings off his chest, nothing else.

“I knew it was worse than you said,” Hunk sighs and nervously plays with his hairband. “I knew it the second Keith insisted you go into a healing pod. Everyone thought he exaggerated but… Damn. Did you get hurt?”

 

_“I think I drowned?” Keith stops. His eyes widen as if he only just noticed that Lance is conscious and understanding every word he says. Or is aware of everything he does. Slowly he lets go of Lance’s hand._

_"Yeah," he says and Lance doesn't like the insecurity in those beautiful eyes. "You scared me."_

_"But you saved me."_

 

“Not really hurt, no. Keith had to drag me out of the water and up to the beach. He, um, did some CPR and voilà, I was as good as new, tataaa,” Lance says with much humor but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

Hunk's voice drops an octave deeper. “He did CPR on you?”

“Yeah, no biggie. I kinda drowned and had a bit too much water in my lungs, haha.”

"Hang on," Hunk says harshly and pushes his bowl away, furious eyes staring down on the Blue Paladin. "You _drowned_?"

"A bit."

"How can you drown _a bit_ , Lance?" Hunk's voice booms through the kitchen and makes him flinch.

"Chill, Hunk, it's fine!" Lance sighs with exasperation and grabs Hunk's hand. "Feel," he says as he presses the hand against his chest, "I have a beautiful heartbeat! Also, that- that's not the point."

“Huh.” Hunk eyes him warily but Lance fights him with smiles until his friend’s expression softens. “So Keith did CPR on you,” he repeats and jumps on the humorous bandwagon Lance has conjured to steer the conversation back into another direction. “Like mouth-to-mouth?”

“Uh, don’t be gross. I was unconscious.”

 

_Cradled in Keith’s strong arms, Lance isn't afraid of the ocean. He feels safe. Carefully, he shifts his position to get a better look at Keith without slipping out of his embrace. They're both alive and they both realize what a close call this has been. Moments pass with them staring into each other's eyes, not saying a word. One last tear runs down Keith's cheek and both of them reach out to wipe it away._

_Their fingers touch._ _Their fingers intertwine. Saltwater conducts electricity, why not feelings, too._

 _Lance used to wonder what_ "a moment” _would be like and suddenly, as he looks into Keith's eyes, he knows. This is their moment. It's unexpected, but the intensity makes up for the lack of romance. Maybe their shared vulnerability is to blame, all walls between them gone when it's a matter of living or dying, the contrast between "maybe someday" and life gone forever too crass to grasp. Keith’s eyes dart to Lance’s lips and vice versa._

_“Can I say thanks?” Lance whispers, his tired eyes fixed on Keith’s lips when he gently touches Keith's cheek with the palm of his hand._

_“You're welcome,” Keith answers with a thick voice and leans into the touch._

_“No,” Lance breathes, the thumb of his hand caressing Keith's skin until it reaches his lip, “let me say it first. If-- if that's okay?”_

_Keith is still nodding when Lance leans forward, waiting for a verbal answer._

_“S’ okay.”_

_Lance's hand wanders to the back of Keith's head, slowly but determined pushing him closer and Keith follows without any resistance, if not even quicker than Lance's pressure begs him to. When they’re close enough to feel each other's hot breath, they stop. Eyes meet again, a wordless question they both answer without a hint of doubt and only a mutual need._

_They close the distance._

_The first touch of their warm lips pressed together makes their breaths hitch again but this time it's welcomed. Their kisses are_ _lazy, tired and full of exhaustion. The ocean’s waves fill the sound in the background but they don’t hear a thing except the thumping in their hearts and heads. Keith’s tongue licks over Lance’s lips, a silent question Lance answers by pulling away an inch._

_“I just coughed up tons of muddy water.”_

_Keith’s lips follow him, not wanting to be distant longer than necessary._

_“I don’t care,” he mumbles and Lance runs his hand through Keith’s hair to pull him back until their mouths collide again. They don’t speak but their tongues and lips do enough talking and with every kiss they both feel more alive._

 

“Alright, no teasing, I get it. It's between you and him. I’m glad you’re okay, buddy. And I’m happy to see how well you two get along lately, really. I always told you I think it’s eminent that you and Keith finally realize the common ground you’re standing on. You two aren’t that different, you know? I mean, yes, you are but not when it comes to-- to certain things. It's important to talk about stuff and it's good for both of you if you do that more often from now on.”

 

_The com in Keith’s helmet crackles._

_“Keith? Lance? Please copy. This is Shiro.”_

_Reluctantly, Keith withdraws from Lance's orbit. A last gaze is exchanged, their lips puffed, the pupils of their eyes blown wide and full of longing. The moment is over. For now or forever is still up in the air._

_Keith reaches for the helmet and answers the call._

_“Copy, Shiro. We're here.”_

_“Are you okay? I think we lost contact for some minutes.”_

_“We had some strong turbulence, one of the alien ships crashed into the ocean.” His eyes drift back to Lance. ”Lance got out, the alien not so much. But the mission is completed.”_

_“Oh, I'm glad you're both okay. We're back in the planet's orbit so we’ll send out a pod to you. Stay put, we latched onto your location. We'll be down in two doboshes.”_

_Slowly and without saying a word the two Paladins entangle their limbs. Keith helps up Lance, they grab their helmets and walk in silence next to each other to a more plain area. Both of them contemplate saying something but before they make up their minds, a pod lands on the beach. The door opens._

_“Need a ride?” Pidge smirks._

_“Lance needs to go into a healing pod asap,” Keith says without preamble and helps the protesting Lance into the pod. The bickering is back._

 

“We don't talk about _everything,_  Hunk. But we're getting somewhere. I guess.”

“Good. And I'm sure your mission to the Blade's station will be successful. Keith acknowledging your skills was long overdue, my friend.”

“Ye- yeah, right.”

“And Lance?”

“What?”

Hunk leans closer until their shoulders bump together. “If you’re worried Keith might be embarrassed or ashamed of your new bonding moment, then you’re wrong. It was always you who felt that way, never him. He wanted to be closer to you but you kept pushing him away. And why? Because you're scared.”

The atmosphere between them changes and Lance feels his face heating up under Hunk’s knowing gaze. Bloody hell. Denying it now will probably only make it worse.

“Hunk.” Lance pauses. “I like Keith.”

The knowing gaze spreads into a knowing smile. “Lance. I know you do.”

“No, I mean--”

“I know exactly how you mean it. I have eyes, ears and years of Lance-experience.”

“Oh.” For a second, Lance's sure his soul is trying to leave his body. Someone knows. Hunk knows. Which means not even Lance himself can fool himself any longer. The wall he's built around the memory of their kiss turns into dust and Lance's heartbeat picks up pace. “Why didn’t you say something?” he pouts.

“I thought you might want to tell me when you’re ready.”

“I’m still not ready but I told you anyway,” Lance laughs nervously, a bit relieved about Hunk's kind reaction.

The door slides open and Shiro's appearance puts an end to their conversation.

“Hunk, Pidge asked for you again. If possible, keep it short. If we don’t leave within the next five minutes, then we won’t make it in time to the restaurant we have a reservation for.”

“Oh, that fancy one where they serve this weird fish-plants?”

“That one!”

“On my way!”

Lance gets up as well and follows Hunk out of the kitchen. “I better get ready then too. Suit up and-- stuff. Have fun at the beach.”

“Have fun with your friend, sharpshooter!” Hunk winks and pats him on the back. "Be careful not to aim at too many hearts."

“Haha, right," Lance laughs with more panic than happiness. Keith, right. Oh God, Keith? Keith wanted to prepare the pod and he still doesn't know what for.

 

~~

 

So Hunk knows Lance likes Keith but Hunk doesn’t know he’s afraid of water. That’s a compromise his consciousness can live with and he's ready to move on to another important business: Keith and the pod. Lance doesn’t like to be kept in the dark so he follows his urge to press Keith to tell him what this was all about. Getting the pod ready? A secret Blade station? That can’t be right. Just as he enters the hallway to the living quarters, a voice calls out for him.

“Lance!”

He turns around. At the entrance to the hangar, there's Keith, giving him a rather curt wave. Lance's jaw drops when his eyes take in the outfit he’s wearing. Red shorts that not even reach his knees, a slim black shirt with a v-neck that highlights just how well built he is and then there’s his hair… The bangs of his black hair still cover his forehead and fall over his eyes but the back part is up in a ponytail which makes his neck very accessible for--

Lance gulps. Oh, this isn't fair. He's been fighting different battles on different fronts lately but he most certainly just has lost one of them. The butterflies in his stomach agree excitedly. The Red Paladin must have noticed Lance’s eyes wandering up and down on him because one second later, he nervously crosses his arms across his chest and is only too eager to look at some random point on the floor between them.

“Are you coming now or what?” he asks with a husky voice.

“Where are we _really_ going?” Lance wraps his arms around his body. Keith might be absurdly gorgeous but that's not a valid excuse for Lance's anxiety to be careless. “If you think--”

“We’re going to the Blade,” Keith hurries to say.

“You promise?”

Keith bites his lip. “You coming?” he repeats instead, his voice suddenly as soft as the kisses they shared oh God Lance, concentrate.

“Yes.” His anxiety protests but the butterflies are more in numbers, maybe even spread into his legs because he feels himself moving towards the hangar. "I'm coming."

“Good,” Keith says and has the audacity to smile wickedly. “You can change in the pod.”

 

~~

 

Lance isn't stupid. Keith _in shorts_ telling him they're on their mission to visit the Blade Of Marmora was one of the most blatant lies he's ever been a target for and he's almost offended. But he knows Keith isn't stupid either. He's definitely up to something and Lance has an idea what it's about. The worst thing is that Keith hides his intention in plain sight and maybe that's why Lance agreed to... whatever this will be.

“Okay, I'm wearing blue shorts and a white shirt, we're _so_ not going to the Blade and you’re the worst liar in space, Keith Kogane,“ Lance complains and emerges from the back of the pod. Keith gives him a brief once-over and the hint of a smile appears on his lips. Lance flops down next to the Red Paladin who has already piloted them into space. “Where are we going then?”

As an answer, Keith steers the pod into a different direction and--

“Seriously?” Lance deadpans. The dark blue planet the Castle’s been orbiting around appears in front of them, a few purplish clouds hanging high in its atmosphere. “I'm not--, no, just no, Keith! I thought you knew how I feel about-- this _place_ with the, the-- _liquids_.”

Some pushed buttons later the autopilot lamp is lit and Keith turns around to look at a very nervous and angry Lance.

“Hey. It's a whole different planet, different water, different situation. I make sure no one's gonna throw you into the ocean. You won't even get a drop of water on you, I promise,” he grins, Lance replies with a dirty look. “But listen," he continues with a more serious voice. "You knew where this pod was heading to the moment you saw me wearing these ridiculous shorts. You boarded anyway. Tells me something.”

“That I’m a fool?”

“That you wanna get down there and get this all over with. Your fear of water, the ocean.”

“And you wanna help me? Voluntarily?”

“Sure.”

“Keith,” he sighs and rubs his face, ”you don't have to do this. I swear it won't affect Voltron, please don't tell the others. I will deal with it on my own. I promise. You don't have to feel responsible for anything related to our last mission just because you were the one who had to pull me out of the water.” He looks away from Keith when he mumbles his apology. “I'm sorry it had to be you.”

An audible intake of air accompanies Keith’s surprised look on his face and makes Lance glance back at him.

“You're sorry?” Keith asks quietly, visibly taken aback by Lance's last words.

“I'm gonna be fine, really,” Lance rambles on. “I'll bounce back, I always do, from everything. I invented bouncing back. I'm the God of back bouncing and this is my human vessel. Bouncing--”

“Lance, would you-- stop talking?” Keith grunts exasperatedly, his hand pressed against his temple. To their mutual surprise, Lance's mouth falls shut and he allows Keith to talk.

“I'm… _not_ sorry it was me who saved you. But… I understand.” Keith takes a deep breath, his ears glowing red. ”If you're sorry about what happened on the beach, if you wished it hadn't been me… then I understand. I shouldn't have-- we shouldn't have-- you know.” He breaks their eye contact. “You almost drowned and the adrenaline--”

“Oh, I’m not sorry about that.” Lance takes a deep breath. Here it comes. “About the, um, _thing_. And I can’t even blame it on the adrenaline because honestly, I was just… very happy to see you. And I kinda thought we, um, had a moment there.” He looks at Keith. “But I wasn't sure so I thought you might regret it, that's why I apologized. Did we though?”

“What?”

“If we had a moment back there is what I'm asking you!”

Their eyes lock and Lance considers jumping out of the pod if Keith doesn't answer in the next few--

“We, um, kinda had a moment.”

“Okay. Cool, cool," Lance immediately shoots out to cover the tense situation between them. "Glad we talked about that, nice talk, Kogane, we should do that more often -- talking, I mean. That's good, healthy and, um, good team-building."

Keith slowly scratches his temple. 

"Yeah. Cool," he repeats awkwardly.

"So, anyway!" Lance says and changes the topic in a haste. “What, um, did you plan? I mean, did you plan something? Down there?”

“No, I didn’t plan anything. Not really.”

“Then what will we do down there? Keith. I’m not gonna stand on the beach and do some kind of exposure therapy, just waiting for my anxiety to appear so I can--”

“We’ll land a mile out of town and then walk through the park to get into the village that’s more or a less an insider tip and not where the others will be. It, um, looks kinda like some Italian village and I thought you might like that. You won’t be able to see the ocean from the streets because the view is blocked by high dunes on the coast so you can get used to the sounds first. We can grab some lunch then if you like. I, um, booked us a table in a restaurant where they serve traditional local dishes and play music which, um, wasn’t too bad considering, you know, alien music. There’s some kind of flea market and funfair in almost every street, mostly water-themed because that’s the, um, the topic of the Ocean-Celebration-Week, obviously, but if that’s too much for you there are also some other places that don’t participate. Maybe we can go on some rides or you’ll find something nice to, um, buy. I figured out where they sell some video games from Earth. And if you want to, we can go to the beach later and just sit there for a while. The sand is really soft but I brought a blanket just in case and I found a spot that’s still far away from the water but close enough to see the water's change of colors when the sun sets down.”

Keith catches Lance’s eyes that he’s been avoiding since he started talking. Lance gawks at him as if Keith had just grown a second head and gave birth to triplets while juggling space caterpillars.

“But nothing’s set in stone,” he adds quickly, “it’s not really planned. And it’s totally up to you.”

“Yeah, it sounds… very… spontaneous,” Lance says in a halting voice.

“It’s for your, um, issues with water.”

“For my water issues.”

“For your water issues.”

Lance wants to punch Keith with his lips, especially somewhere in his face. Repeatedly, until Keith fights back the same way - or dirty. Now Keith is the anxious one and Lance both enjoys and dreads it.

“I didn’t know you were able to say so many words in a row,” he jokes.

“I can,” Keith explains quietly, “I just often choose not to.”

“Too bad, you ramble almost as bad as I do.”

“Almost.”

“I’m still a better bad rambler.”

“You mean worse.”

“No, I'm _better_."

Keith rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. So. What do you say?” Lance has seen Keith nervous before but this time it's a different kind of nervousness than the one that sometimes slips through during a battle. His fingers tap against his thigh, his feet shuffle on the floor and his teeth nibble at his lower lip.

“I’m in but, um, I have some conditions.”

“Okay.”

“If I say I wanna leave, we leave, no questions asked.”

“Fine with me.”

“No jokes about me unless I start them.”

“Too bad.”

"Hey!"

Keith grins. "No jokes, alright."

“And you...you’re…-- um." Lance shakes his head. "No, that’s stupid.”

“Try me.”

 “Okay." Lance hesitates briefly, then eyes Keith carefully when he says the next words. "You’re not gonna leave me alone somewhere.”

“I’m gonna stay by your side all the time if you want me to.” His answer comes so fast and steady, not a hint of a joke or judgment in his voice, Lance's stunned into silence for a moment.

“Yeah. I’d like that, Keith."

They look at each other.

“That all?”

“Yup.”

Keith puts the pod back into manual piloting.

“Then let's do this. Are you’re ready?”

“Yes,” Lance says and shakes his head bleakly.

“You’ll be fine,” Keith says calmly and somehow Lance believes him, nevertheless he closes his eyes during the descent to the planet’s surface.

 

~~

 

It only takes a few minutes until Keith lands the pod on a green field next to other space and land vehicles, even some that resemble some kind of space tourist bus. He grabs his backpack and the two of them make their way through the park Keith has talked about. The blue sky above them looks similar to Earth’s one and enhances the feeling of a vacation. Foreign trees, bushes, and flowers bloom around them and wooden signs lead them to a town called Albir. In the distance, Lance can see the old and small houses and agrees with Keith’s comparison to Italy. It looks lovely. The high dunes hide the ocean but the closer they get, the louder the sound of the wave becomes. Lance's body tenses but now that he decided to face his fear, it's not as bad as he’d expected. And Keith walking next to him gives him the necessary sense of safety he needs to go on with it. They don’t talk much during their walk, only pointing out some particularly weird plants but Lance feels Keith’s eyes on him all the time.

At the town gate, an inhabitant greets them with some welcoming words and a wreath of flowers. Keith declines friendly by saying he’s already got one but Lance breaks out into a happy smile when the alien puts one with dark blue flowers on top of his head.

“It’s our favorite underwater flower,” they explain, “it resembles the color of the ocean even now. Tonight, it will turn purple like the water, you’ll see.”

Despite their celebration-week, the village's streets aren't that crowded. Keith didn’t lie when he said it was an insider tip. Since Lance welcomes any kind of distraction to get accustomed to the ocean's sounds and the closeness to the beach, he challenges Keith to some games at the funfair. They're both pretty bad, not understanding the rules to most of them, but they are both persistent until a vendor finds a way to get rid of the loud boys by gifting them a consolation prize: a little shark-like toy. Keith hands it Lance as if he couldn't be bothered but his eyes shine brightly when Lance smiles at him, radiating pure happiness.

Around noon, they decide to grab something to eat. Lance proposes to get some street food but Keith reminds him rather shyly of the reservation in a restaurant he’s mentioned before. It's a three-story building and looks fancier than Lance has imagined. Upstairs appears to be a balcony or at least a window front and he isn't too keen on having to look over the dunes when he's trying to eat something. However, he follows Keith inside.

A local alien greets them right away.

“How may I be of service?”

“Hello, I booked a table for two on the name Kogane for today.”

“Ah, Kogane, let me check the reservation.” The alien gets back behind their desk and opens something similar to a tablet. “Table for two,” they read, “absolutely no ocean view no fucking way, a nice table with a flower bouquet would be nice, maybe some candles do you have even candles here whatever and the special five-course-menu, the music loud enough to drown out the sound of the ocean but not loud enough to drown out a conversation, this is all very important and if it’s not possible then I’m gonna go to a different restaurant do you hear me, this needs to be perfect." The alien looks up. "We prepared a table matching your requirements.”

Meanwhile, Keith’s face has fallen apart with every additional word the waiter said. 

“I didn’t-- I just meant to-- Why did you write down-- Just-- seat us-- somewhere!” he stammers angrily and briefly turns to a stunned Lance. “I just wanted to be sure with-- you-- _any table is fine,_  we don’t need--”

Finally, Lance manages to slip back into his usual smooth self for the situation's sake and puts a calming hand on Keith’s back who freezes under the touch.

“That table sounds perfect,” Lance says to the waiter with a polite smile, ignoring his insides where he's screaming, yelling, jumping, running in circles and burning hearts into his ribs, riding on butterflies through his own stomach. He doesn't dare to look at Keith because he's sure he won't have any control over his facial expression for at least half a minute and he isn't prepared for Keith to witness his emotions in such an unfiltered way. Not yet, at least.

“Then I’m glad we got it all prepared as you wished,” the waiter replies. “Follow me, please.”

It not only _sounds_ perfect, it _is_ perfect when Lance sits down at the table opposite of Keith. The flower bouquet matches the wreath Lance's wearing on his head and there are indeed candles. They're seated close to the window on the second floor but overlook the streets below. Keith’s embarrassment about the waiter’s words still show in his face but Lance let the opportunity to tease him slide away. His emotions are having a field day and his wish to not fuck this up becomes stronger than any joke he could've made. 

“I feel weird only wearing shorts,” Lance says after a brief silence.

“It’s rude to be fully clothed on this planet,” Keith says quietly, still a bit shaken about the situation.

“I know, I know, I'm just saying it feels weird. We’re in a fancy restaurant and I look like, like--” He shoots a cocky glance to Keith.

“What?”

“Do I look like a beach boy?”

“Shut up, Lance, and pick something to drink.”

And they’re back to their usual selves, at least they pretend to be.

To Lance's continuing surprise, his fear hasn't reached out and taken a hold of him yet. Painted pictures of the ocean and the beach decorate the walls of the restaurant but they don't increase his anxiety. Sometimes the sound of the waves fills the silence between two songs but that's the only thing that reminds him he's gonna have to face his fear tonight. He _wants_ to. Every time Keith looks at him, a part of him actually wishes to be back at that dreadful beach and the heavy green ocean, just to have a chance to repeat their kiss. Ridiculous, of course. But then a wild conflict breaks out inside of him and Lance makes a decision: if, by any chance, there'll be the smallest chance of a redo of said kiss, it has to happen on a beach again. So he can replace his traumatic drowning experience with something that makes him feel so very alive and to reward himself for not giving up. Not that Keith might want to kiss him again. But, just in case...

For now, he's just happy to have some small-talk with Keith and the opportunity to eat something else than food goo. However, a special kind of sickness doesn’t let him enjoy the fancy dish as much as he likes to. While Keith answers his question of what growing up in the desert has been like, Lance begins to wonder when their relationship has shifted to whatever they have now. From fights to shoves to bickering to teasing to smiles, to normal and honest talks, to midnight comfort and stolen touches. And to a kissing session he still dreams about, awake or asleep.

He can’t tell. But does the begin even matter anymore when they made it so far? And now Keith took him to a restaurant which makes it very difficult for Lance to stop thinking this might be more than just an anti-anxiety-training.

“You don’t like it?” Keith asks and gives Lance’s untouched dessert a pointed look.

“No, I’m just not that hungry anymore.”

“Um, how are you-- feeling, being here?”

Lance chuckles. “Why? Are you my therapist now?”

“I’m just trying to help you!”

Lance sighs. Keith is right, his defensiveness is out of place.

“I’m good, I think. A bit nervous,” he admits. He meets Keith’s purple eyes. “No, a lot, actually. Very nervous.”

“Because you know the ocean’s close?” Keith asks unsurely.

“To be honest, I don’t think it’s entirely the ocean’s fault.”

Keith tilts his head.

“Oh?”

Lance rubs the back of his neck.

“Yeah, _oh_. You could say that.”

There’s a moment of silence where their eyes meet again and neither of them looks away. Lance feels his stomach doing loopings inside of him. His hand rests on the table next to his plate and Keith's is only two inches away. They had held hands before, they had kissed many minutes long, quite eagerly so, and still, Lance hasn't felt this shy in his entire history of crushes and flirts. Just when he has conjured enough courage and is about to touch Keith's hand, the other one seems to have the same idea.

"Ouch," they both hiss when their hands clumsily bump together, more from the surprise than from pain. A nearby waiter is alerted by their noises of discomfort and stands by their table within a second.

"Do you need anything? Is someone hurt?"

Keith and Lance freeze, both of their hands hovering over the table as if they are about to fist-bump. They share a quick freaked-out yet utterly amused look and turn around to the waiter, speaking simultaneously.

“Can we pay--”

“Let’s pay and--”

A burst of nervous laughter breaks out between them and the waiter nods in confusion but obliges and prepares the bill on his little tablet, mumbling words in their mother tongue. Meanwhile, Lance starts to give Keith's shin soft kicks under the table Keith quickly returns until the waiter lays down the tablet to show them the sum to pay. Lance stops their little game by twining both his feet around Keith's ankle and holding him in place, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. Keith can't look away from it and Lance doesn't want him to look away, no, never--

Only when the waiter clears their throat, Keith hurries to get out his wallet.

 

~~

 

After they left the restaurant and basically ran away when the alien asked them to leave a review, they find themselves standing awkwardly next to each other in an empty alley. The sun already began to set and the big event must begin soon. The days on this planet are short which means Lance's day with Keith is almost over. The thought alone makes his heart hurt.

“That was nice but you didn’t need to buy me lunch," Lance says to start a conversation. "I could have paid for my own food.”

“First of all, you won fairly," Keith laughs and gives him another gentle kick against his shin. "Also, it was me who kidnapped you so I thought--”

“Kidnapping? Is that what they call it nowadays?” Lance jokes. 

“Call what nowadays?" Keith wrinkles his brows which draws a sigh from Lance. Does he really not know what he's doing-- what _they're_ doing or is he just pretending they didn't almost hold hands a few minutes ago without a life-or-death-situation to justify their behavior? Not even Keith Kogane can be that dense so Lance decides to push it.

“You asked me, um, to have lunch with you and I said yes. No kidnapping involved." Lance hesitates. "And I'd say yes again, if you ever wanna repeat that."

"You'd want me to-- I mean, you'd like to have lunch with me again?" An unfamiliar vulnerability surrounds Keith and he cradles his arm, disbelief in his eyes when he shoots Lance a questioning look.

"Sure, yeah," Lance says, "I like to repeat, um, the things I enjoyed. I mean, only if you liked it too."

"I did."

A smile breaks out on Keith's lips and makes Lance's cheeks tingle pleasantly. 

"Cool," he smiles back.

They decide to roam the market a little while longer until it’s time to witness the spectacular ocean changing its color in the early evening. And Lance wonders what do you call it when you’re head over heels for the person who saved your life? Maybe it’s just his mind connecting being alive with Keith who has saved him - a rescue romance, maybe? Lance falls back against the wall of a building, the cool stone calming his body and, hopefully, thoughts. It’s not just that. Keith owns his heart for some time now, maybe not that obvious or intense but it isn’t something entirely new. Even Hunk has noticed it. There's no need to bullshit himself anymore or making up excuses for his feelings. Only one look at the Red Paladin makes his knees go weak, his heart beat fast and awakes the urge to kiss him again.

Lance rests his head against the wall and stares up into the sky, ready to send out a prayer to whoever is listening. The kiss they shared was something else and he’s obsessed thinking about it. It was both needy and grounding, long overdue but also unexpected and new. The timing was absolutely inappropriate on both sides but this fact only makes it so much more urgent for Lance to repeat the kiss. He watches Keith from a distance looking at some vending tables. He looks so normal, Lance thinks. They both do. To others they’re the famous Paladins of Voltron but here on this distant planet in their very casual clothes, they’re just Keith and Lance. Who had a moment - a very hot and intense one - on a beach they haven’t properly talked about yet. Maybe they never will. Maybe it was a one-time thing only. Lance stares at his feet on the ground, shuffling forward and back, kicking at some tiny stones. The day went well so far and during lunch, Lance even dared to think this may mean more to Keith as well but Lance wouldn’t be Lance without his nagging self-doubt that sneaks up to him in a weak moment.

Of course, Lance almost drowned, Keith got a bit carried away with the finger kissing and crying but didn’t he say he was an orphan, so right, obviously abandonment issues are to blame and maybe Lance represented everyone of Team Voltron in that moment, so it wasn’t really about Lance but about everyone, Keith’s found family, but then Lance did the most stupid thing and basically  _begged_ for a kiss, basically making a fool out of himself, and only when--

“Hey.”

Lance looks up. Keith closes the zipper of his backpack and hides whatever he's bought.

“Found something pretty?”

Keith looks him straight into the eyes and his fingers reach up to fix Lance’s flower crown that has come askew.

“Yeah,” Keith whispers and Lance feels his fingertips lingering in his hair longer than necessary before he withdraws his hands. “I did.” Is this another moment? It feels like it but Lance doesn't trust himself. Quickly, he clears his throat, trying to ignore the goosebumps that have appeared on his lower arms and his neck.

“I just hope it’s not another knife," he says instead.

“It’s not.” Keith points towards another street entry. “If I remember correctly, the Earth shop is somewhere over there. Let’s go and--”

“Wait!” Lance says before he can overthink his spontaneous decision and stops Keith by grabbing his wrist. “I wanna ask you something.” He pulls his fingers away and waits until Keith stands back in front of him, staring at him as if he's the center of the universe - which does things to Lance and he hopes his body won't mistake his nervousness with an anxiety attack.

_In, hold, out._

_Ready._

“Keith, is this, like, a date?” His voice shakes a bit but he doesn't care. The question is out in the open, all he can do now is to wait for an answer.

Keith’s eyes go wide at the straightforward question. “A-- A what? Why would you--”

“Is it?” When he doesn’t respond, Lance elaborates. “Flowers, candles, music, food, a special table. You organized _everything_. Very thoroughly,” he adds with a nervous chuckle.

“I just wanted it to be special," Keith admits and ends his sentence with the tone of a question mark.

“That’s what you do for a date.” Lance smiles weakly. "So?"

Suddenly Keith’s feet seem to become more interesting and the Red Paladin’s eyes appear to be glued to them, his whole body tense like a statue of stone.

“Was it too much?” he mumbles.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Is this a date or not?”

“What if it’s not?”

“Then it’s definitely too much and I won’t stop teasing you about it as long as you’re alive. But if this is a date then…” Lance lets his voice trail off, watching Keith’s reaction carefully until he bites. Finally, Keith looks back up.

“Then what?”

Slowly, Lance takes a step towards him. His fingers softly flick against Keith's arm in a playful manner. “Then it’s the most perfect date I’ve ever been on.”

The faintest blush spreads on Keith's face and Lance is sure he hasn't seen anything or anyone more beautiful in his entire life. 

“Technically, it’s a date to fight your anxiety," Keith corrects him stubbornly but Lance only chuckles about his last and futile attempt to pretend they both don't know in which direction they're heading to in their relationship.

“I’m feeling pretty anxious right now so you’re doing a pretty bad job," Lance retorts.

“Then tell me how to fix this.”

Oh, Lance knows how to fix it and apparently his body knows as well.

They’re only a few inches apart and maybe it’s another moment of theirs, either that or Keith has become magnetic to Lance, there's no other explanation for Lance's hands on Keith's hips, right? He feels Keith’s gentle fingers on his shoulders, slowly wandering up to touch his neck. Maybe it isn't magnetism but magic, yes, whatever happens, can't be explained by logic, especially when their noses softly bump together. Lance wants to drown again and he almost laughs about his train of thoughts, only this time, he wants to drown in another person.

“Lance,” Keith breathes and Lance decides there’s nothing sweeter than Keith’s hot breath when he says his name in close proximity to his lips. It would have been even sweeter if it wasn’t for a trumpet-like sound echoing through the streets that makes their head turn around to the source of the disturbing noise. On a building similar to a lighthouse there's an alien playing a foreign instrument and with the ongoing sound, flocks of people make their way up the dunes towards the beach.

“It’s time for the sunset and the color-show of the ocean.” Keith looks at Lance, still close.  His eyes glance up to his head. “Your flower crown just turned purple. What do you say? Do you wanna see the real deal?"

“You said you found a place where we can be alone?” The moment the words have left Lance’s lips, they both freeze but not in cold but hotness that rushes through their bodies. 

“I-- I did.”

“My brain’s kinda haywire now and I blame you for it."

"What?"

"I told myself the next time I wanna kiss you is on a beach again so I gotta keep true to myself and I-- I wanna kiss you so badly, so if there's a beach and you, um, you wanna kiss me back, then that'd be really dope and--”

“Come,” Keith interrupts him and takes Lance's hand firmly into his. They follow the street into the opposite direction of the other tourists and inhabitants until it becomes a path that leads up the dunes. They both laugh as they fall over their feet every time they sink into the unusual soft sand but refuse to let go of each other's hand. Keith is the first to get to the top.

“Wait,” he shouts down to Lance who still hasn't seen the ocean. Keith takes out a blanket from his backpack and spreads it in some kind of hollow a bit further down. Then he reaches out his hand to Lance.

“You ready, beach boy?”

They grin at each other. Life's funny, isn't it? Keith was the one pulling him out of the almost deadly water, now he's the one helping Lance to get back to the ocean. If he wasn't so mesmerized by Keith's face smiling at him he would've appreciated this balancing coincidence more.

“I am.”

With a strong grip, Keith pulls him up and the two topple over on the blanket. Lance laughs when he sits up next to Keith.

He thought he was prepared to see the ocean again but the image takes his breath away anyway, only this time for another reason. The sun is in the process of setting down and where the last sunbeams touch the ocean, the dark blue water slowly turns into a magnificent purple shade. The waves are calmer than he'd expected and their sound reminds him of home. Down below in a distance, aliens of all kinds swim in the shallow water. Laughter and joyous yells reach his ears and pull the corner of his mouth up into a smile. This is his element, right in front of him. Always was, always will be.

“It’s almost like on Varadero Beach during the summer vacations,” he says quietly.

“It’s nice,” Keith replies.

Keith’s voice pulls him back into the present, including time, location and circumstances, and he feels his heart beat faster. From the corner of his eyes, he notices Keith staring at him, contemplating whether to put an arm around him or not until he settles on keeping the distance, obviously in case of another panic attack where Lance doesn't want to be touched. How cute and considerate.

“How do you feel?”

“Weird," Lance answers truthfully. "I thought I'd want to run away once I'm here. Because I’m scared of drowning.”

“But?”

Lance takes his time to think about his answer. Waves touch the soft sand down below, aliens laugh, splash, swim, dive. No, he’s not afraid of drowning, not really. It was an accident, a mission gone wrong. Things like that happen when you’re a defender of the universe. They happened before and will probably happen again. But what matters is that he won’t be alone to fight the aftermaths of his accident. He’s got his friends. He’s got Keith. He's got himself.

“I don’t think I’m scared anymore,” Lance says. “I think I’m just angry. So fucking angry that something so beautiful dared to make me feel scared even for a minute.” He closes his eyes. “And I don't wanna run away any longer.” With those words, he jumps up and runs down the dune towards the water, sinking into the sand every few feet but pushing on with sheer determination. 

Then he's there.

The water is warm when it touches his feet and plays around his ankles. It almost feels like Earth's water and it's by far not as heavy as the water that almost drowned him. Up close, the purple looks even more intense. He leans down and lets his fingers run through it and the muddy sand below. This is his place, this is his second nature and a stupid mission won’t take it away from him. His reflection smiles at him, wearing a purple flower wreath in the same color as the water.

“Oi, beach boy!”

Lance stands up and whirls around. Keith waits a few feet away, something that looks strangely like an old Polaroid camera in his hand, ready to take a picture.

“Is that what you bought? A camera?” Lance grins and strikes a pose like a model. “One for the Voltron family album?”

Keith chuckles and clicks a few times. The camera prints out the small pictures right away, not bigger than the palm of his hand.

“So you won’t forget this day."

“How could I ever forget the day Keith Kogane asked me out on a date? Now put that thing away and come here. I-- I wanna talk to you.” Lance holds out his hand until Keith has put away the backpack and walked up to him. “Listen. I almost drowned and you saved me," he says and interlocks his fingers with Keith's. "Then I almost drowned in my fear and you saved me again before it could become something permanent. You helped me with my damn issues. It means a lot, Keith. And I-- I want to say thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Lance bites his lip. “No, I mean, I want to say it like-- on the other beach.”

"Oh." Keith steps closer. “Then start talking,” he whispers and then it's back, the moment, only now it takes place in the most perfect setting Lance could've imagined, despite the participants being the same. Keith, him, a beach and the ocean. Impatiently, Keith bumps his nose against Lance's.

"Talk, I said," he repeats with a smirk. "Before I do."

So Lance begins the conversation by wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist and pulling him closer. Keith's fingers answer by caressing Lance’s neck and finding their way back into his hair. The purple ocean might be beautiful but it’s nothing compared to Keith’s eyes, Lance decides. They both tilt their heads before they close the remaining distance and let their lips touch. Breathing gets harder but drowning in Keith is divine. Slowly, Lance's mind entangles the connection between the sound of the ocean and the feeling of the water on his feet from his past traumatic memories. Only Keith remains the constant between those incidents. Keith who makes him feel safe, who cares for him, who always got his back, who doesn't let go when the waves crash against him - be it for real or in his mind.

“Keith," he whispers against soft lips, "I like you so much.”

“I like you, too, beach boy,” Keith mumbles with a smile and pulls Lance down for another long kiss.

 

~~

 

Later that night.

 

Drunk from kisses and high on feelings and laughter Keith and Lance arrive back at the Castle, not being able to let go of each other. They need several minutes to walk across the hangar because Lance keeps trying to put the flower wreath on top of Keith's head and Keith absolutely cannot have it when someone's messing up his hair. Only when Lance succeeds, mostly because Keith decides to humor him and allowed Lance to crown him, they become more aware of their surroundings - and realize they have failed to see Pidge waiting for them. Keith and Lance freeze, their arms still linked together, their summer outfits definitely not adequate for any kind of mission in space.

She greets them with crossed arms and a stern look on her face.

"So how was your Blade mission?"

"Oh," Keith simply says and thankfully - or not - Lance immediately takes the conversation's reins into his hands.

"Good," he lies without batting an eyelash, "it was a birthday party of the local Blade leader, very important. He said his bond with Voltron is now stronger than ever."

Pidge scoffs loudly, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? I stayed here while you were at a party and--"

"We gotta go," Lance says with an apologizing grimace, "sorry, but we have to, um--"

"Debrief," Keith states.

"Right!" Lance nods and points towards the exit. "Debriefing in his room because, ehh--"

"I got the paperwork."

"He's got the paperwork!"

"Fine," Pidge grunts, "but tomorrow one of you needs to stay here and guard the button."

Keith and Lance exchange a glance.

"About that... " Keith begins slowly, his brows furrowed in concentration.

"Funeral," Lance interrupts him. "His grandma died."

"Yes, my grandma-- WHAT?? Ouch!" Keith hisses when Lance's elbow finds his way into his side. "Yes," he confirms, "very dead."

Pidge walks up to them like a stalking animal and puts a comforting hand on Keith's shoulder.

"Oh, I'm so very sorry to hear that, if there's--"

"Keith doesn't want to talk about it," Lance squeaks, "they were very close." In great haste, he drags Keith away with him who has a hard time suppressing the bubbles of laughter that escape his mouth. "So excuse us now, Pidge, we need to grieve."

"Debrief!"

"Debrief! And then grieve. Byeeee."

 

Pidge's eyes follow the two giggling Paladin until the door towards the living quarter closes behind them. Slowly, she turns on her communicator.

"Hunk?"

"I'm listening."

She sighs. "You won. They have no shame at all. I owe you 20 bucks."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you were able to escape reality for a few minutes. Sleep well.
> 
> #WeirdAuthorsFunFact: I named the town Albir because that's the name of a beach next to a city called Altea which is in Spain.
> 
> \- [Twitter](https://twitter.com/worstmission) \- [Tumblr](https://worstmissionever.tumblr.com/) -


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